Defender of the Free Refill

Well, I now officially have a contract with OSTG, so I am a paid, card-carrying member of the biased liberal media. This means that I can now start defaming and libelling hard-working patriotic George Bush loving conservatives forty hours a week, instead of just on a hobbyist basis. I’m very excited that I get to do my part. Let the fact distorting and agenda fronting begin!

Actually, that’s not true, since OSTG doesn’t do anything political. I mean, obviously I’ll still make fun of libertarians but come on — everybody does that; it barely even counts as making a joke.

In all seriousness, though, OSTG is the evil clandestine global corporate syndicate that weakens the minds of the young through cereal additives, publishes some Web sites about Linux and free software, and keeps the metric system down.

My role will be to write for them on whatever topic amuses me at the moment, peppered with the occasional vitriolic rant about the obscure shortcomings of various objects around my desk. Periodically I will do something about the milliliter.

Really you probably wouldn’t notice anything different about my material if you started reading it now than if you had read it before, only it will be a little more frequent, drastically shorter, and I will no longer be bothered to politely respond to readers’ comments. Hey, the news doesn’t slant itself. It takes people, people.