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Up up and away

So I’ve decided if and when I eventually don a mask and head out into the streets to fight crime at night, I’m going to call myself “Captain Defeat” or something like that. If we’ve learned anything over the years it’s that a superhero’s name and mascot are far more critical than any “powers” “skills” or “knowledge” they might posess.

Therefore the intimidating name is much sought-after. The reasoning behind Captain Defeat is two-fold. First, any villain who hears the name will immediately think to himself “Defeat? Is that supposed to sound threatening? Because it sounds kind of like ‘Captain Loser’….” Then, naturally, they’ll wonder whether or not I understand how the name sounds, and whether or not my choosing such a name indicates that I’m not very bright or just that I’m not very good with names — either way it’s hardly a plus. But more to the point, the obvious question will be “if this guy doesn’t understand how moronic his name sounds, is he still intelligent enough to understand it if I take a moment to mock him about it to his face, or is he so dense that I’ll have to explain it to him first, and then mock him about it?”

And while he’s thinking about all that, that’s when I’d hit him.

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  1. in fifth grade i wrote a series of superhero stories about “professor justin case” who had the incredible power of heightened sense of smell. captain defeat sounds very intimidating…or…maybe…a little bit ill-conceived…WHAM!

    Comment by janet — July 26, 2005 @ 5:20 pm

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